One night I had two interesting men come into the bar. They were middle aged. Trailer park. Worn leather jackets. I'll fitting clothes. And drunk. After pitcher #5 they were starting to fight with each other.
I listen for a minute & then open my mouth. 'Cuz that's what I do.
One guy is loud, abnoxious, and going on and on about how he wants to leave his wife of 14 years but he thinks he can't because she has threatened suicide. The friend, amazingly also roomate to this mess, is obviously torn up because he so desperately wants his buddy to be happy, but buddy is a non-listener.
Loud mouth keeps going on and on, first telling me (like I asked for any of his input) the abc's of life. Take responsibility for your own Actions, Behaviors, and Choices.
Ten mins later he is all but crying about how he wants to leave his wife. Because they fight, they are just not compatible. He gloats about having "ten" police officers at his trailer last weekend to take his shot gun away from him. He pulls up his sleave and proudly displays angry red scars running up and down his right arm saying that he asked his wife to leave, threatening his own life if she did not.
I literally rolled my eyes & shook my head.
He left to use the rest room & I took the opportunity to talk to his friend for a few. Firstly, if he really intended to take his own life, cops would not have been there in time. It was all show. A pitiful cry for help. And his friend took it as a blow to their friendship that suicidal would attempt it in front of him.
I know this from personal experience, both sides of the fence. You cannot save everyone. You CANNOT save anyone that doesn't want to save themselves. You will destroy yourself trying to force the change. They have to be willing to take the step, even the smallest step, forward.
I'm sure karma will bite me in the ass for this. In fact, I'm 100% positive. In watching these two men quible, I wonder if this is what my own pitiful life looks like from the outside.
The Tao of unsaying
3 months ago