Saturday, December 27, 2008

damn regret, i try to forget

My life is split in two; the moments overwhelmed by HIM, & the moments that I am TRULY alive.

In my darkest hours, YOU are the one casting shadows.

Am I content to fade into the scene? Or do I desire a more prominent role?


Thursday, December 18, 2008


I burn for your eyes upon mine, but I know you won't glance my way.
I tremble for your arms out reaching; they don't leave your side for mine.
I long for your smile, so playful; sad that it's not meant for me.
I ache for your voice in my ears; instead I lay here, with your songs, playing softly, in the night.

Alone. Dreaming.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

santa baby!

Last Sunday my kids went to see Santa. They sat on his lap & did the usual, "I've been good this year ... I'd like ..." Santa gave each child an envelope. With $5.

Now I don't know about everyone else, but Santa always gave me candy canes, and usually the cheap-ass-50-for-a-dollar kind. We're in a recession & Santa's handing out Lincolns?! I was ready to sit on Santa's lap myself!

Is this part of the economic stimulus package? Or does Santa have stock in oil companies. Come to think of it, he does own quite a bit a land at the North Pole.....

Sunday, December 14, 2008


Hi ... my name is Triana.

*Hi Triana*

I, am a crackberry addict.


If I don't have my crackberry in my hand at all times, my thumbs start twitching & I will immediately fall into an abnormal state of panic which could end in convulsions and head trama.


My friends have alienated me & my family doesn't understand. Only my crackberry buddies are there for me. Iv been known to waste whole days away because of my crackberry. I don't have to think when I'm on my crackberry - its so numbing.


My crackberry addiction affects my driving & my work performance ... and I spend too much money on it! *sits back down*

scooby snacks

I'm fully aware that my title is not in the least bit indicative of what I'm going to post 2day. That's me though. Random. The things in my head rarely make sense.


Kurt: I need to stop texting while I'm driving. It's dangerous.

Me: Yeah, I know what u mean. I try to stick to phone conversations on my ear piece & not texting, etc.

Kurt *in his BIG BOY serious tone*: Don't ever talk on ur phn while driving. It's a proven study that talking on ur phn is too much of a distraction.

Me: ... (didn't u just say that u TEXT while driving too) ... Actually, Kurt, I don't think that talking on my phone is any more distracting than, oh say, kids screaming in the back seat, carrying on a conversation w/someone in the front seat, tuning a radio, eating fast food, reading billboards or daydreaming. (All of which, I am guilty of - including and not limited to, putting on make-up.)

Kurt: No, I read an article about talking on ur cell phn while driving. Then I started watching & noticed that every "idiot" driver in front of me was on a cell phn. People would be good drivers if it weren't for cell phones.

Me: So the "study" u just mentioned wasn't really a scientific study then?

Kurt: Well yes, I conducted a scientific study. I watched people driving.

Me: And your discovery would then mean that there were no bad drivers or car accidents before cell phones?

Kurt: Well there weren't nearly as many.

Me: Are you aware that ANYone can write an article about ANYthing? I mean just look at how many articles state that Bigfoot is real or that Elvis is alive?

Kurt: Elvis is alive.

Me: End of discussion. I give up.


The kids are making Christmas cards tonight. My daughter, 9, accidentally wrote: To Aunt Sew (on Aunt Sue's card, not knowing how to spell "Sue"). Aunt Sue happens to be a quilter by trade. The card now reads: To Aunt Sewing Sue. Creativity at its best (or worst).


HA! I was being a "forward thinker" earlier - my kids just went to the kitchen for evening snacks & came back with fruit snack ... Scooby Doo fruit snacks ... thus Scooby snack! It DOES make sense; I win!

Don't u love ripping open the package of fruit snacks & looking for the blue one? U know, the fruit snack that's different from the rest of the fruit snacks? Some packages have one & some don't. It's like finding the golden ticket! (Maybe the "fruit" part of the snack went to my head.)

Thursday, December 11, 2008

fairy tales ....... and fairies

Randomly I told my bff that "Life would be so easy if I could just settle........." - meaning that I have this insane fairy tale dream that often gets in my way of LIFE.

Bless her pea pick'n soul...her reply: "Settling means no one will bring u your forgotten pee strainer"

Awwwww .... It brought tears to my eyes :(

Then I broke down and confessed that it may actually be allergies combined with lotion on my hands that I just rubbed my tired eyes with that could be causing the tears. But it sounds better the other way.


As I'm writing this blog, my oldest son, 8, rips his shirt up to his chest, stuffs a silver, plastic sherrif's badge INTO HIS PANTS, and proceeds to dance around the room. WHAT. the FUCK. have I done to my offspring???!! Can I possibly get a refund? This one is defective.

Thursday, December 4, 2008


My first week of work went like this:

Day 2: Inadvertently saying that the woman on the phone was mean (at least I didn't call her a bitch, which is what I was truly thinking) when I *thought* I was on hold. Yes, say it, you know you wanna...dumbass huh? The best part - she wasted no time putting me in my place. My face red, my eyes wide, my co-worker instantly knew what happened & she was rolling. In a matter of seconds, the wave of titillating laughter was all across the building. I half assed attempted a rescue by telling her I was talking about a rude co-worker that (imaginarily) walked past. She pretended to accept that, thankfully, and I learned a superb lesson in no time flat.

Day 3: Standing over the extra large printer wondering why I can't figure out how 2 dial a number on it to send a fax. Note to Triana: it's not a fax machine. Oooops. It looked just like the printer/fax machine at my old job. No wonder every time I hit send it just gave me copies.

Day 4: Repeatedly running n2 the only door inside the building that doesn't open without pushing the "door" button. Every other door - push down on handle, push the door open & walk thru. Trick door - push button, push handle down, push door open, walk thru. Triana's version of the trick door: push handle down and walk into the door as I'm pushing it "open". I seem to leave a step out. I swear there's a camera on that door. Somewhere, some one is watching & giggling, "oh, look! Here she comes!"

Day 5: I get my own desk! Complete with my own phone! And a hands-free-head set, with a cord, attached 2 my phone! So that every time I get up to walk away from my desk & forget that I'm wearing it, well, let's just say that I'm "reminded" every time I hit the end of the cord & my head is jerked backwards as my hair is ripped from my head. Go ahead and laugh. My co-workers do.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008


At night. When I walk. Out the door. Into the rain. Alone. Empty.

I'm still me.

In the morning. When I wake. With tears dried. Dreams left behind. Confused. Empty.

I'm still me.

Where are you?