almond joy ...

… has nuts; mounds don’t.

Laaa-st Ni-iight … (that part sounds better with music, and well, with someone better singing it).

Enough with the preliminaries. It’s nearly Halloween. Tomorrow in fact. Yesterday there was an event at the North Side High School for elementary students to dress up, play a variety of games, and collect a small sack full of tootsie roll-ish candies. The last game they played was a spin-off of musical chairs and the winner of each round got to choose a sack of cookies or small candy bars off the prize table. Tyler picked snicker doodle cookies & Bri grabbed a sandwich bag stuffed with snack sized Butterfinger, Almond Joy, Hershey bar & mini Reese cup. At home each counted their candy pieces & miraculously found both had exactly 64 pieces.

It was their dad’s night & he doesn’t want to deal with a sugar rush, so he asked them to leave the candy here. They each left their bags on the table. I took off to run some errands & returned home to find tootsie rolls scattered all over the floor. I thought the cats had jumped onto the table and found something to bat around. They’re about six months old & full of “fun” – in kitty terms, everything is investigated and smacked around for possible fun.

I noticed they had shredded the wal-mart baggy the candy had previously been contained in. As I start picking up tootsie rolls & “tootsies” (a generic, fruit-flavored version of tootsie rolls?), I observe an Almond Joy wrapper. Odd that the wrapper is shredded but the candy bar is nowhere to be seen. Great, I think to myself, I’m going to step on or possibly sleep on an open Almond Joy. Wait; is that also a Butterfinger wrapper? Was there an actual person in my house stealing the kids’ candy & leaving the torn wrappers behind as gloating evidence? I studied the wrappers for a minute. A person would have pulled the wrapper open by the corners; this was definitely torn (tattered) in the middle of where the candy bar would’ve been like it had been gnawed open by a giant rat. Rats???

Cat’s don’t eat chocolate. Surely they would’ve gone for even the snicker doodles before the Butterfinger or Almond Joy. Sure enough, there are tiny little chunks of Butterfinger spread through out my carpet – but no sign of that awful Almond Joy. Coconut?? Seriously? And what in the hell did they do with the almond? Eat it too?

My life is strange.

“Today’s morning news: the hamster survived the carnage, but only a few parts of the Butterfinger were recovered from the scene. Sadly, the Almond Joy is still MIA. We’ll keep you posted on further discoveries on this tragic day. Now a moment of silence for the mourners.”
Good thing the kids don’t do a candy re-count. They would also believe the cats ate around 20 tootsie rolls.

Now that part, I’ll take credit for.