My first week of work went like this:
Day 2: Inadvertently saying that the woman on the phone was mean (at least I didn't call her a bitch, which is what I was truly thinking) when I *thought* I was on hold. Yes, say it, you know you wanna...dumbass huh? The best part - she wasted no time putting me in my place. My face red, my eyes wide, my co-worker instantly knew what happened & she was rolling. In a matter of seconds, the wave of titillating laughter was all across the building. I half assed attempted a rescue by telling her I was talking about a rude co-worker that (imaginarily) walked past. She pretended to accept that, thankfully, and I learned a superb lesson in no time flat.
Day 3: Standing over the extra large printer wondering why I can't figure out how 2 dial a number on it to send a fax. Note to Triana: it's not a fax machine. Oooops. It looked just like the printer/fax machine at my old job. No wonder every time I hit send it just gave me copies.
Day 4: Repeatedly running n2 the only door inside the building that doesn't open without pushing the "door" button. Every other door - push down on handle, push the door open & walk thru. Trick door - push button, push handle down, push door open, walk thru. Triana's version of the trick door: push handle down and walk into the door as I'm pushing it "open". I seem to leave a step out. I swear there's a camera on that door. Somewhere, some one is watching & giggling, "oh, look! Here she comes!"
Day 5: I get my own desk! Complete with my own phone! And a hands-free-head set, with a cord, attached 2 my phone! So that every time I get up to walk away from my desk & forget that I'm wearing it, well, let's just say that I'm "reminded" every time I hit the end of the cord & my head is jerked backwards as my hair is ripped from my head. Go ahead and laugh. My co-workers do.
The Tao of unsaying
5 months ago