Randomly I told my bff that "Life would be so easy if I could just settle........." - meaning that I have this insane fairy tale dream that often gets in my way of LIFE.
Bless her pea pick'n soul...her reply: "Settling means no one will bring u your forgotten pee strainer"
Awwwww .... It brought tears to my eyes :(
Then I broke down and confessed that it may actually be allergies combined with lotion on my hands that I just rubbed my tired eyes with that could be causing the tears. But it sounds better the other way.
As I'm writing this blog, my oldest son, 8, rips his shirt up to his chest, stuffs a silver, plastic sherrif's badge INTO HIS PANTS, and proceeds to dance around the room. WHAT. the FUCK. have I done to my offspring???!! Can I possibly get a refund? This one is defective.
3 weeks ago