Tuesday, January 26, 2010

endless emptiness

Time creeps away with no moment left behind. Solitude wraps herself around my lonely shell. A few words, that's all I ever get from you, besides an emptiness that cannot be denied. Scarred and broken, limping from my hiding spot. Looking for the corner, a turning in my view.

Desolate park swings reflect my innerself; hanging motionless against the wind where love once showed her face. Few faint traces in the snow where one attempt did fail, leaves marks upon the open ground from lovers and their quarrels.

Emotions have no name for this feeling that I endure. Wasteland of my heart and mind come ripping to the edge; Acceptence overtaking Wrath, as her energy grows weak. Another time, another place, I would have carried on. Yesterday's tasks depleted me; I weathered through the storm.

When you find me I'll be stumbling across the rough terrains. If you're looking you won't see me; but you'll find me anyway. Pieces of the wounded me strung out for all to see. Collect them each, one by one, to put me on display. A lost and tattered, useless soul, set free another day.


Gavin said...

Well that was depressing...nicely written but depressing just the same. XD

Brosreview said...

This is, and I mean this, one of your best pieces. Very heart wrenching, this one. I don't know about your other readers, but I felt you reciting this to me. I do not know how you sound, still I could imagine it that way.

My most favourite line - "looking for the corner, a turning in my view". This is so so so sad. And, at the same time, I am provoked to say, do whatever brings you pleasure, even if it has to be ideally the worst thing to do.

Keep writing, or I'd rather write, keep reflecting Triana!

DenisCollis03 said...

I love readding, and thanks for your artical.........................................

findingmywingsinlife said...

hmm, well this one stikes a nerve. Tell you later about it when I see you for a few drinks...believe me I think I'm going to need them :(

Triana said...

Gavin ~ Uhhh, not sure what to say. That's me most of the time, underneath it all anyway.

Brosreview ~ Ironic that you encourage me to do whatever brings me pleasure. I have always done just that, for the moment, and have always been burnt in the end. The other side of the coin - where would I be as a person had I never walked those paths and learned the greatest pleasures along with the greatest pains? The balance ... that's what catches me up. Creating the balance. Or accepting the balance. Either way.

I have a ying-yang tattoo on my upper back (cleverly disquised as dragons, most people don't actually "get it") as a symbol of my belief in the balance of life.

DenisCollis ~ Thanks right back @ you :)

Wings ~ We've probably already discussed the thoughts on this one. You know I'm always here, drinks or no drinks. By the way, I love how you always mention "drinks" - like the TWO OF US are drinking - and ninety percent of the time, I'm the one drinking. You rarely even sip. Oh, except when you abandon me and hit shots of PATRON in TENNESSEE at COYOTE UGLY and DANCE ON THE FUCKING STAGE. All without me. Where's the love?!?!?!

We need to road trip. For a week. Anywhere. As I say that, I know where you will suggest. However I'm vetoing that idea as a duo road trip. You'll want to fly that one solo, sans the third wheel. Besides, he's too intimidated by me. I don't see why....

Aren O. Týr said...

I especially love the sparse, terse, tight use of language in this post and "lost passion".

Very evocative; this is a "pointing towards" the inner landscape that gets simply passed over by most people, distracted as they are all that surrounds them - not fully aware of the self-same unity of self-consciousness and the external world.

I ponder now that perhaps real attraction is to recognise in someone else that they are as self-aware as you; you see yourself, reflected - and also your counter-principle.