Wednesday, January 28, 2009


I will never be "like other women". I don't demand perfection. I don't expect to be "princessed". Am I able to explain myself? I am who I am. Stubborn, maybe.

If I am aware that you have a issue with certain temptations, and yet I drag you out into the midst those temptations, then a piece of your failure falls on my shoulders.

However, if I shelter you from your temptations, and yet you then fail, only at this moment will I reject responsibility. It is my nature. It will not change. I will not be lumped into the immature masses. The 95%.

When you make a decision, it must be what you want, what you TRULY want, and it must be YOUR decision. I will not offer my opinion, even when asked, because truly my opinion is that you are asking the wrong question, of the wrong person. It is yourself that needs to be consulted, not I.

I will not put myself out there for these reasons:

ONE: I take responsibilty for my own actions, including failures, and you should do the same; therefore, do not ask me to make your decisions. They are YOUR responsibilty.

TWO: More difficult to admit to... I have never been worth "the right decision" - at the right time. When given the choice, I have always been left behind. I will not put myself out there, to be left behind again. I have learned. When the day comes that I am the right choice, then I will know that I have met the one.

Until then, I will sit patiently at my table. Quietly counting the minutes. Holding back the tears threatening me, for foolishly thinking, "maybe".

Until then, I will sit in the car, staring away, as you piece it together, uncomfortably.


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