whispers

no one's here and i fall into myself
this truth drives me into madness
i know i can stop the pain if i will it all away
Whisper by Evanessence

My sister went in for surgery to remove the tumor from her brain. The Dr decided against the surgery last minute, saying the mass is too deep & in too dangerous of a position to operate on. Instead, he's draining he fluid periodically & she will have to go to regular check-ups to monitor the growth & damage.

I cannot form a solid thought lately. It's been one hell of a ride, from start to my current position, from one day to the next. Hardly able to blink at times. Nothing more than a jumbled mess. Chaos at it's prime.

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One night after work, visiting my sister, catching up with Wings & grabbing some dinner, 2 guys asked for directions to a particular strip club. I pointed 'em in the right direction & then gave 'em hell for not picking a better strip club. Long story short, I jumped from Wings' van into their Lexus and hung out at Shangri-La for the remainder of the night w/2 guys I had never met. The next day I got an email from a guy friend, who had apparently had seen me there but was too embarrassed at finding me in such an establishment that he couldn't even say hi to me. Yipes! It happens, pay attention!

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I have decided to put together a new tv show as the Habitat show has taken a stand still. I'm going to record music of local bands from various genres & walks of life, and put together their stories - hardships & triumphs.

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Here's a funny story (or not so much) about 'friends' and hypocrites. Last night was a good friend's going away party as she has joined the Air Guard. We have several mutual friends in our circle, who were all supposed to attend her last fling shindig. The first hour that they were late, they kept texting saying they would be on their way soon. Then, 12 hours later, after not showing up, not answering our calls or texts, we finally get word that everyone is fine ... they decided to stop at the strip bar & didn't want to leave. Our friend will be gone for approx 6 months, and our group of GIRLfriends couldn't leave a female strip club to attend a party they've known about for 2 months? Sadness is, these women have been friends for YEARS; I've only known any them since last Nov. To make it sweeter, these same women chastise one of our male co-workers for doing the same thing a month ago. Pot & kettle, ever heard of it?

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*sigh* life is ridiculous, but what can you do? Today I planted flowers with my sister. Raked twigs & branches from the yard. Walked 2 miles in the wonderful sunshine to get a bag of marshmallows to roast over the bonfire from burning the yard waste. Watched my oldest son repeatedly burn his 'mallows crisp & then try to pull the still flaming 'mallow off the stick to eat it. Watched movies with my kids. Fell asleep often :)