Sunday, February 22, 2009

dont read

I. close. my. eyes. and. I. smile. knowing. that. everything. is. alright.
~Blue October

I wish it were alright. I wish I were smiling. Instead, I can only look back at the moments I spent smiling, and then wonder where they went. How did I lose them already?

April's ocean theory - a person cannot survive within an ocean, cannot hold an ocean. It takes an ocean to blend with an ocean. I am a hurricane. Destructive? Maybe not what she meant, completely. She thinks he is also a hurricane. But how can two hurricanes work? Her response, "They become a tropical storm". Can that be healthy in any sense?

April, if that moment comes, where I'm sitting on the steps, questioning, tears or no tears, tell me that "No" is the answer. Don't even ask the question. Just a simple, firm, NO.

Tonight, depression drags me deeper.


Aren O. Týr said...

Have read.

"Can that be healthy in any sense?"

Healthy, I don't know. A big tropical storm is usually followed by the most beautiful serenity. It just depends on whether or not your house is still standing in the wake of destruction.

Continual storms will probably break everything apart, eventually; someone needs to be able to diffuse things.

Depression is something that only someone who suffers from it can truly understand. The good news, though, is that when the right person wanders along, you can be lifted out of it until it becomes but a distant memory. I'd like to find that place again, because at the moment it is more like a familiar room mate; lurking, waiting.

'Without darkness there can be no light'.

I hope you find your smile again.

You make me smile, here, some 3800 miles across the Atlantic. :-)

findingmywingsinlife said...

Well there goes my analytical response..I can't even ask a question????

And I did not mean you were destructive, just deeply emotional (in a good way) the depths of the ocean....