Monday, March 16, 2009

the chase

Self discovery just seems to bring me down. Is that even possible?

I think tonight I have realized that I am deeply addicted to the thrill of the chase. The relationship chase. However, I'm a little backwards, as I usually am. I don't want to chase. I want to be chased. I want to be worth it. Is that wrong?

I have so many issues; that I won't lie about. I'm honest. I'll tell you my fuck ups. My obsessions. My darkest nights & my brightest days. I've nothing to hide, which might be the issue. Some things are better left unsaid, maybe?

My cinderella story is not about the castle & the riches, it's about Love, which really is a fairy tale.

So, I will blink until my eyes finally close & I fall away into the night as my heart aches unabated.


Aren O. Týr said...

Well despite how much modern society has changed, still, fundamentally, the onus is on the man to "chase" the woman.

So I doubt you'll have to do much chasing, just put yourself out there and you'll have choices!

However, a few words in general from my male perspective: constantly "chasing" after a woman does get tiresome after a while, mainly because quite often you get so little feedback from the woman in question. You're always left hanging on the fence. I suppose it is a little power game. And every man begins to learn that you only get somewhere when you just play it cool, pretend not to care too much, and be patient. Quite often, just at the point where I've completely given up and forgotten about whoever I'd been keen on, I have some "success", whether that success be nothing more than a simple txt reply back or an actual date.

So, bear in mind that there almost certainly will be men who are probably interested in "chasing" after you, perhaps even now in your immediate life, but you may well need to give a bit of feedback (or a bit more) and subtle encouragement to any that you do like. Sometimes us men need a confidence boost!

And I realise that confidence is sexy, especially so in a man, but nothing improves confidence like some positive results, so be open to see some attractive changes in perhaps those men whom you see as "nice" but not necessarily, at this stage, "sexy".

Hope some of that makes sense and is of some use. Men and women aren't always so different, really :-)

Triana said...

Aren, I simply love how your "few words" takes me hours to read & reread in order to soak up every aspect.

I don't chase. And I do provide feedback. The issue is that the chase soon dissipates... into what, I'm not sure. I have no use for power games. I simply want to be worth the choice, which I have never been. Despite some promises & some false words. It is always me, here, waiting, for nothing.

It's not for lack of being chased, but the chase is rarely worthing. When I truly beleive it is, I am proven wrong. Left to stand alone. Because I am strong enough to do so? But I grow weary of this role.

There is no one so open as I. Trust me in that. I know myself & I have been told uncountable times. Always in the end though, it counts for nothing. Because here I am. Tired. Weary. Giving up, for the moment.

Your words are always more than welcome ;)