Thursday, March 19, 2009

uncommentable

I cannot even begin to post tonight. For starters, "tonight" is early "tomorrow" morning. I have but merely 2 precious hours before I must prepare for work. What is wrong with me!? Plenty! I will be paying for this tomorrow, right after lunch, maybe 2pm when I'm on the last two hour stretch until the end of the work day. Ruggid. Rough. Filled with unwanted thoughts. Tormenting. As is my life.

How does this happen? 9pm turns to midnight, then 2am before I can blink. Now nearly 4am! Madness! Pointless to attempt sleep at this point. With what is on my mind, I will never aquire sleep anyway. It will be haphazard. Untimely. Uncomforting. And mostly unreliable. I would like to say unfair, but that is not so.

Tomorrow will be better? Not so much.

6 comments:

Nick James said...

Tomorrow will be better. I am here through the guidance of Wing Seeker. I've been meaning to stop by for weeks, but as you will raed, if you so choose, I have been extremely busy. I like your blog and your friend, so I will be visiting back. I hope you find yourself a lot of happiness!

Natalie said...

Triana, sounds to me like you are depressed. One of the first symptoms is an inability to sleep. Please get someone to help and support you through this. (professional)

Soz, if this offends you.xx♥

Triana said...

Nick, Thanks for the cheer-up & wishes!

Natalie, yes...I've been depressed for quite awhile. I know it. I have been to professsional help, to no avail. I refuse to be put on a medication for it that simply replaces one problem for another. I have been to psychologists, but am always told that I'm too smart to be in their office. *sigh* No worries, not offended! It takes MUCH more than that!

CLAY said...

What is the root cause of the problem Triana? Have you spoken to Wing Seeker about it?

Triana said...

Clay, she knows me well & there is nothing I need to speak to her about. She knows, without words. It is not something that can be talked out. Merely wounds that need to heal. Completely this time. And hopefully not be reopened! As for the problem, it is all in my blogs. Everything that troubles me has been written out, as writing is my therapy :)

Tracie said...

thanks for visiting my random world.. i welcome you & hope to see you often. :)
after reading your post.. it seems we may be kindred. i also suffer from deep wounds and depression.. but happily, now on the healing end. i am living proof it can happen.. and i would be be humbled and more than happy to assist you over the hurdle. there is hope for healing.

many blessings,
Tracie